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Wedding day

My knees were shaking as I glanced at him, "my ex-boyfriend".. he's with someone malamang girlfriend nya.
I pretend na di ko cia nakita, but he grabbed my shoulder bag at napalingon ako.. alam ko cia ang humila ng bag ko..
"chesk" (as usual na tawag nya sa akin) at parang wala lang, I said "hi" kanina pa daw nya ako nakita hindi lang daw ako namamansin, sabi ko na lang cencia, I was busy fixing my things, sabay smile.
he asked me If I received the invitation of his wedding..saka ko lang naalala ikakasal na nga pala cia, kelan? 3 days from now..date pa yun ng anniversary namin.. the man I loved before is announcing the date of his wedding with this curly haired lady in front of me.. the man who's deeply in love with me before..*sigh**..

it's been 2 years since we last talked, siguro masasabi kong.. I missed him, so much... hindi lang talaga maganda ang naging paghihiwalay namin, may mga bagay talaga na dapat ayusin, mga bagay na nasira sa mga hindi inaasahang pangyayari.. pero akala ko lang pala yon, akala ko lang na magiging maayos ang lahat.
as I opened the invitation,napansin ko agad ang date.. anniversary nga namin dati.. una kong naisip inaasar nya ako tamang ganti lang sa mga ginawa ko noon.. pero hindi ako nagpaasar. Eto nga at nakikipagchikahan pa ako sa harap ng kanyang fiancée. Bakit? Dahil ba wala lang sa akin? Ayos lang na makipagbolahan ako dito sa kanilang dalawa??..
O magaling lang ako magtago ng nararamdaman? Ang hirap kaya ng ginagawa ko ngayon, trying to be nice with them.

Naah!! Nagsisi na ako noon, ayoko na magsisi ulit ngayon. Gusto kong ipakita sa kanya na masaya ako para sa kanilang dalawa. oo dapat may ayusin pa akong mga bagay bagay, pero naisip ko para saan pa?
wala naman na akong babalikan, wala naman na akong pagbabawian sa kasalanang nagawa ko.. pero kung alam nya lang..sobrang nagsisi ako sa mga nangyari.. kung alam nya lang kung anong mga gusto kong sabihin ngayon..
hindi ko cia iniwan, nawala lang ako saglit para ihulma ang sarili ko sa kung sino mang gusto nyang maging ako..pero cympre hindi nya ako naintindihan...pero umaasa ako na kahit papano..sana.. alam nya yon..

"we have to go cheska" nasabi ng kanyang fiancée, "aasahan ka namin sa kasal"

"ah.. uhm yah.. p-pupunta ako" ngiti lang sakin si Ace
"c-congratulations.." habol ko pa

*hinga ng malalim**..

*Sa Church**
Exactly 2pm kami dumating sa church..kasama ko best friend kong si Jelai chinika na agad nya ako, ano daw ba ang nararamdaman ko na hindi ako ang bride ni Ace, sagot ko "wala lang".. She just smiled at me, thinking that "wala lang" nga talaga.. pero kung alam nya lang, I wanted to shout in front of everybody.. gusto kong ipaalam na ako ang dapat na inaabangan ng lahat ngayon..
pero hndi pa ako baliw para gawin ang mga walang kwentang bagay na yon dahil lang sa lalaking mahal ko pa rin
"ata"?

after 10mins, the ceremony started.

I noticed the motif, it was pink..my favorite color. I asked the girl beside me kung sinong nag asikaso ng lahat ng ito.. she said si Ace daw.. tango lang ako..

as I quietly sitting there.. while watching the couples, there was a girl beside them who motioned forward to pick her microphone. Sabi ko medyo malilibang na ako, gusto ko kasing nakakapanood ng mga kumakanta..
afterwards, she started to sing..
*pause**..
I know the song.. I almost cried when I hear that.. that's our theme song.. how dare him played that song na nandito ako.. hindi ko magets kung ano man ang gusto nyang palabasin? Kung nananadya ba cia? O talagang inaasar nya lang ako?..

"you may now kiss your bride"..

Di ko na napansing natapos ang kanta dahil sa mga sunod sunod na pumasok sa isip ko.

..he looked at me first before he kissed his wife..
gusto ko ciang batuhin ng sapatos ko sa mga ginagawa nya..kelangan kong makahanap ng tiyempo para maconfront cia.. para maintindihan ko ang mga nangyayari.. pinag kakaisahan ba nila ako? O feeling ko lang yun?..

tapos na ang kasal, hindi na maganda ang mood ko, bakit pa kasi ako nag-i-stay? Lalo lang akong naiinsulto sa mga nakikita ko sa paligid, mas maraming bagay lang akong nakikita na nagpapaalala noong kami pa.. I really have to go, I have no purpose of being here.. *kinakausap ko na ang sarili ko**
walang lingon lingon akong naglakad papalayo.. kelangan kong makalabas ng simbahan agad..
sige cheska, almost there..
It was two steps away from the opened door of the church when unexpectedly..
"where are you going?"

I slowly faced him with teary eyes,

there was a long awkward pause.

"what are you doing??"

i looked straight at him.. "that was supposed to be.. my question.."
his eyes were full of questions.. we just stared at each other..

after a few seconds, I sighed more heavily.. and then..

"how dare you play our song in your wedding ceremony?, how dare you pick my
favorite color as your motif?, how dare you choose our anniversary date as your
wedding date?"
my tears falling freely.. "how dare you look at me before you
kiss your wife?"..

Ace looked straight at me,

and after a few seconds of silence..

"because that's the last and only way I could..
imagine you're my wife"...

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul

huggy-swtee goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as fairy.

bluetrinkets gives you 16 light green passionfruit-flavoured nuggets.

chocolate_daze tricks you! You get a used tissue.

honeychild gives you 15 white vanilla-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.

kain_lumpia gives you 10 milky white mint-flavoured gummy bats.

lyfs_a_beach gives you 1 orange raspberry-flavoured wafers.

speaknoenglish gives you 5 blue pineapple-flavoured pieces of taffy.

vangielyn gives you 16 mauve mint-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.

huggy-swtee ends up with 63 pieces of candy, and a used tissue.

Go trick-or-treating! Username:

Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

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